Crown of Frost Page 18

  Elaine didn’t ask how Valentine intended to escort her without her vision. After the Sleeping Bog, the question seemed silly.

  “I… think you’re right,” Elaine admitted. “And I do need to get back.” She hesitated. “Can you spare me a few hours, so I can sort things first?”

  “Two hours,” said Valentine. “After that, I’m leaving.”

  Liam didn’t particularly relish the thought of her departure. “I’d rather you waited until I can walk you through the Hedge myself,” he told her, as she dragged him back into the bedroom and stole one last kiss from him. “Maybe things are stable enough that I can leave—”

  “Don’t,” Elaine told him. “I’ll be back soon enough. I just need to sort things out with Jenna. I was going to sell the shop, but I’d probably feel better just leaving it with her—”

  Liam blinked. “Why?” he asked.

  Elaine paused, confused. “Why… what?” she replied.

  “Why sell the shop?” he asked impatiently, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall. “Why give it away? I thought you loved it.”

  Elaine knitted her brow. Gradually, she rearranged her assumptions. “You need me here,” she said slowly. “I thought…”

  “That I’d trap you here forever, unable to leave?” Liam asked, incredulous.

  Elaine blinked. “No!” she said quickly. “No, that’s certainly not what I thought.”

  Liam shook his head at her. “Just because it’s hard for me to leave doesn’t mean that you’re bound here,” he said. He stepped away from the wall, and tugged her forward into his arms. His blue eyes softened. “There’s no point in making yourself miserable on my account. Just… promise that you’ll always come back.”

  Elaine blinked back sudden tears. “I… of course I will,” she said. “How could I stay away?”

  A wicked smirk settled onto his features. “You still have an hour or two,” he said. “Why don’t I remind you why you can’t stay away.”

  Elaine flushed. “Oh,” she said. “Well.”

  It was a very thorough reminder.

  “Thought I was going to have to bust you out or something,” Pallid Valentine grumbled, as Elaine made her way to the border. “You’re at least half an hour late, if time’s got any meaning.”

  Elaine flushed. Behind her, she knew, Liam was still smirking.

  “I’ll make up your lost time,” Liam said diplomatically. “Be a bit more patient, would you?”

  Neither faerie lords nor their personal warlocks ever really aged — but as Elaine considered Liam, she realized for the first time that something about him looked older all the same. His features had sharpened; his manner was more refined. Blackfrost may have done many terrible things to him since he’d taken its mantle… but it had also given him a hardness and resilience that was evident just from looking at him. The crown of shadows at his brow flickered into being once more as she watched him, but it didn’t burn with the same fury it had done when he was facing the Lady of Briars. Instead, it was a casual reminder of his power and authority.

  The border blurred and shifted. When it had again solidified, Elaine realized that she was looking at an entirely different part of the Hedge than before.

  Liam had shifted the entire realm within Arcadia. The thought was dizzying. Every time Elaine thought she had a handle on the power that faerie lords held over their domain, she found herself revising her opinion again.

  “There,” Liam muttered. “That should be closer, at least. I can’t go much further, or I’ll bump into the Ashwood and never hear the end of it.”

  Elaine gave him an exasperated look. “I didn’t ask you to move whole worlds around for me,” she told him primly.

  Liam arched an eyebrow. “You didn’t need to ask. You’ll get there sooner this way, and I’ll have you back sooner as well.” He crossed his arms, a brooding expression on his face.

  Elaine turned to consider the threshold before her… but she hesitated. Nearby, she knew that Liam was feeling the same misgivings, though he hid them well.

  She turned, and threw her arms around his neck. “I love you,” she whispered to him. “I won’t forget you. I will come back.”

  Liam held her close. His lordly demeanor cracked for just a moment, and she saw uncertainty on his face. “I love you,” he whispered back. “I believe you.”

  To her credit, Pallid Valentine didn’t interrupt them again. She waited in silence, staring blindly out at the greater sprawl of Arcadia.

  Elaine saw a hint of discomfort in the ex-warlock’s expression, as she rejoined her. “Are you all right?” she asked carefully.

  Valentine shifted on her feet, tugging her ragged coat more tightly about herself. “I’ve got somewhere to be,” she said. She sounded uneasy. “Someone to see.”

  Elaine considered that for a long moment. Liam’s words echoed in her mind. Allies from the Lower World, she thought. Maybe it’s best if I keep making friends. “…would you like help?” she asked.

  Valentine twitched, surprised. She blinked her empty eyes. “I… don’t know,” she admitted uncertainly. “Rare that I get the offer.” She hesitated. “…not today,” she said finally. “But maybe later.”

  Elaine nodded. She threaded her arm through Valentine’s, leading the way out into the Hedge.

  Thanks to Liam’s efforts, the Hidden Path back to the Allan Gardens wasn’t very far at all. It only took Elaine and Valentine a few hours to get there, though they walked the last hour or so in pitch black darkness. As in Blackfrost, Elaine had no problems seeing where she was going, though she was still aware of the distinct lack of light.

  They stepped back out from the Hidden Path into a frigid winter night. Falling snow clung to Elaine’s hair and eyelashes — but she felt as comfortable as if she’d been sitting in front of a fire. In fact, the cold was oddly invigorating; she felt that new power coil and stretch within her, looking for an outlet. Elaine tamped it down firmly. Blackfrost might have a way inside her now, but that was no reason to let it dictate her mood or her actions.

  Next to her, Valentine shivered. Another look of surprise crossed her face. “It’s strange feeling things again,” she muttered. “I’d forgotten how much the Drowned Lord’s power dulled things. Less cold, less heat, less pain…”

  Elaine tugged off the remnants of her coat, and layered it on top of Valentine. It was useless to her anyway. “We can both grab hot showers at the loft,” she assured her. “And maybe some new clothing. You have a few, um… blood stains, still.”

  Valentine cracked a wry smile. “I don’t think I’m your size,” she said.

  “I’m sure I have something,” Elaine assured her. “It might be, er. A bit of a different aesthetic, is all.”

  Strangely, the journey to Elaine’s door offered more hardship than the entirety of their path through the Hedge. Valentine stumbled often, clumsy in the snow. Her Witchsight was of far less use in the mundane Lower World, where ideas failed to match reality. As they went, Elaine began to worry. She can’t possibly function in the Lower World like this, she thought. Wherever she’s trying to go, I’m going to have to help her get there.

  A small light was still on near the back of the shop when Elaine unlocked the door and invited Valentine inside. As they headed inside and closed the door behind them, Elaine heard light footsteps on the stairs. A heavy worry settled into her stomach.

  As Jenna opened the door behind the counter, a long, tense silence fell between them.

  Elaine forced herself to meet her apprentice’s eyes, though she wished she could look anywhere else. I made this choice, she thought. I don’t know if I can make her understand, but I have to face the consequences either way.

  Whatever Elaine’s apprentice was feeling, it didn’t show on her face. “I never should have let you go alone,” Jenna said quietly. She shook her head. “God, Lainey. You look like a different person. You even feel different.” Jenna looked past her toward Valentine, her expression uncertain. The
woman might not have been a warlock anymore, but she’d clearly been through the wringer.

  Elaine pressed her lips together. “We can talk in a second,” she said. “If you don’t mind waiting.”

  Jenna looked away from Valentine uncomfortably. “…yeah,” she said reluctantly. “You look a little bit like hell.”

  “Only a little?” Valentine muttered. “I feel like that’s an understatement.”

  “I’ll have to get you up the stairs,” Elaine told her. “Hold on tight.”

  By the time she’d gotten Valentine up the stairs and into the shower, Elaine was exhausted and on edge. She headed back out to her bedroom, searching through her clothing for something that might fit the smaller woman.

  Jenna watched her from the couch, her arms crossed uncomfortably over her chest. “…I can’t do this again, Lainey,” she said. Her voice was small, and so utterly terrified that Elaine paused in her search. Her stomach sank.

  “I haven’t lost my humanity,” she said, turning and settling herself slowly against the dresser. “I don’t think that’s how it always works, Jenna.”

  Her apprentice stared at her. “How would you know?” she asked in a whisper. “You’ve been a warlock for all of a few days, Lainey. Of course you wouldn’t notice.”

  Elaine pressed her lips together. “I’ve met two warlocks now that managed to hold onto at least a shred of themselves,” she said. “I don’t think it’s that simple, Jenna.” She looked down, gathering up her composure. Took a breath. “Maybe we can still save your friend, if you want—”

  “There’s nothing to save!” Jenna burst out violently. She was on her feet now. Her eyes were wide, and her jaw trembling. “Gabe killed my father, Lainey. There’s nothing left of him in there.” Tears gathered in her eyes. “And I can’t wait around until you’re that bad. I can’t.”

  Elaine stared at her. For a second, she found herself unable to process the situation. That isn’t right, she thought. Valentine has been a warlock for decades, and she still found the courage to disobey her lord. Something about this isn’t right.

  But one look at Jenna was enough to convince Elaine that it wasn’t a conversation her apprentice was ready to hear. Maybe, she thought, it could even be a cruel conversation, to no good end.

  “…I’m sorry,” Elaine told her quietly. “You’re right. I’m thinking of myself, and not of you.” She took a long breath. “I can’t undo any of what’s been done. And I… I wouldn’t, even if I could. I can’t lie to you about that.” She shook her head. “I have to go back to Blackfrost. I’m still… helping with things, there. But I’m keeping the shop. I’ll be back, from time to time.” She forced a smile at Jenna. “If you need me, I’ll be here. But I won’t bother you otherwise.”

  Jenna looked away and nodded, but Elaine knew that she had no intention of ever taking her up on the offer.

  It left a knot of sadness in her chest that stayed there long after her apprentice had departed.

  It took Valentine a long while to find her way out of the shower and into a towel. She tried at first to drag a comb through her tangled hair, but the task would have been hard enough even if she’d had her sight — her hair was quite long and thick, and fully matted in places. Every little task was agonizing to watch — but Valentine snapped sharply at Elaine as she tried to help, and so she stepped back and watched in uncomfortable silence instead.

  Eventually, Valentine settled herself awkwardly on the floor, leaning back against the bathroom cabinet with her head in her arms.

  “Valentine?” Elaine asked tentatively. She took a step forward, wary of drawing the woman’s ire again.

  The small woman shifted toward her. Blind eyes stared her way. “I can’t,” Valentine rasped. “I can’t… do anything. Not even the smallest bloody thing.” She closed her eyes. “I’ve never been this way before. I’ve always been able to figure out… something.”

  Elaine winced. She stepped forward again, kneeling down next to the other woman. “It’s only been a few days,” she said carefully. “And you spent all that time in Arcadia. You’ve got no practice in the Lower World.”

  Valentine clenched her teeth. “I can feel my memories disappearing,” she said. “Most of my life in Arcadia, just… slipping through my fingers. I can’t afford to be like this right now, on top of everything else.”

  “You have to afford it,” Elaine told her. She settled in next to her on the floor, leaning into her shoulder. “I was a lot like this when I first got back from Blackfrost,” she admitted softly. “Not physically. But I was… an absolute mental wreck. I barely slept. I couldn’t function like a normal person.”

  Valentine curled her fingers into her palms, against the tile floor.

  “I got back onto my feet because I had help,” Elaine said. “You haven’t had that for a long time. I understand that. But just because you’ve had to go without help before doesn’t mean you have to go without help now.”

  Slowly, Valentine uncurled herself, straightening her neck and leaning her head against the cabinet. “Because you care, I suppose?” she spat. “Lord, that’s a stupid thing to rely on. People care all the time. They stop caring all the time, too.”

  Elaine grabbed the comb, and very carefully tugged it through one of the tangles in Valentine’s hair. “I do care,” she said quietly. “Because I’ve been where you are. But if it makes you feel any better, I think I’m going to need allies every bit as much as I need friends. And I see no reason why we can’t be both.”

  A very tiny snarl in Valentine’s hair came undone.

  The small woman closed her eyes. “…that does make me feel better,” she admitted. She pressed a hand to her face. “I’ll find a way through this too,” she said. “I’m less a stranger to debts than to friends. If you want to keep helping, I’ll keep owing.”

  Elaine gave her a pained look, but she sighed. “All right,” she said. “I guess we’ll go with that for now.”

  Epilogue

  Elaine spent the next few days seeing to Valentine and searching for someone to take over the store for the foreseeable future. Eventually, she knew she would be able to return to Toronto, but she suspected that the next few months in particular were going to require her in Blackfrost full-time.

  Still, the day that Elaine signed an employee agreement with the new manager, she felt a pang of sorrow. Much as she loved her frost roses, she would worry over her shop’s plants while she was gone. She would have felt much more confident leaving things to Jenna…

  But that’s not an option, she reminded herself firmly. You’ve made that decision. Someone else will have to manage.

  The day that she had intended to leave, she was surprised to find Simon waiting at the door to the shop. The warlock looked much improved from the last time she had seen him, when he’d still been shell-shocked from Blackfrost’s touch.

  He smiled as she opened the door, unwinding his knitted scarf. “May I come in this time, Miss Elaine?” he asked. “It’s still terribly cold out here. I know you may not have noticed, given your new proclivities.”

  The mention of her name sent an uncanny shiver through her, but Elaine returned the smile, and stepped back to allow him inside. “You have my invitation, Simon,” she said. “Not that you need it, given… well, what you know.” She didn’t mention her true name out loud. “And just ‘Elaine’ is fine. ‘Miss Elaine’ makes me feel like I’m in the Victorian era.”

  Simon kicked a bit of snow politely from his boots, before stepping inside with one last shiver. There was something about him that seemed different, though Elaine couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Perhaps he was standing straighter, or smiling a bit brighter?

  “Oh, um, my apologies,” Simon said. “My first language is actually French. I still sometimes misunderstand English connotations, Miss — Elaine, ah, sorry.” He winced, and Elaine chuckled.

  “I would never have guessed,” she said, with a hint of admiration. “Your accent is so perfect. I would try
switching languages for you, but I’m afraid I’m a bit of a western stereotype. My French is, um… un peu mal.” Elaine winced at the mangled words, but to his credit, Simon managed to keep a straight face. “What can I do for you?” she asked quickly, smoothing over the moment of awkwardness.

  “I wanted to check that everything is still going well,” Simon admitted. “I suppose… I’d also hoped we might stay in touch a bit. There are so few people in this world who will endure my presence without suspicion, but we seem to have found ourselves in similar positions.”

  The gloom that had wormed its way into Elaine’s heart at Jenna’s departure lifted very slightly. She sighed with relief. “Things are going well so far,” she said. “And I would like that very much. I was worried about keeping up ties outside of Blackfrost, to keep me even-headed.”

  Simon nodded seriously. “I’ve kept up some semblance of a home in Montreal,” he said. “Arcadia can be intoxicating when it’s all you know for too long — a regular dose of reality helps.” He frowned. “But if you’re worried that being a warlock will change you all on its own… I wouldn’t be. There’s good truth to the fact that most warlocks are the sort you wouldn’t want to meet on the street, but I suspect that’s more to do with the manner of person that normally seeks out power. A man who sells himself for power is very different from a man who sells himself for love.”

  Elaine smiled softly. “You’re a very strange man, Simon,” she said. “In a good way, of course.” She eyed him consideringly. “I hope the Lady is doing better?” For your sake, she thought silently, though she didn’t say it out loud.

  Simon nodded slowly. “Better is… relative. She may finally be starting to move forward from Rose’s death. The Lady will never be her old self again, of course… but perhaps that’s for the best.”